all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
