Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
