She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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