my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
did i just pee glitter
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
