All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
