First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize