sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
