dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
