put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
