nut hugger
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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