Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
