For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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