Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
