so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
