It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to have your abortion
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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