You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
