I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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