so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
