just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize