I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
