he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize