How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
