Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
