If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
