I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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