If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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