I want to make a zoo with you.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
