i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
