the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
