I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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