She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
