Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
