I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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