Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
