Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
