I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
