someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
