so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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