They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
