ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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