Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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