everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
