Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
