Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
