I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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