yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
last night I used snow as a chaser
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize