when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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