i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
