so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
