I am spending my child support on dildos
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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