we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
