Ambien. No doubt about it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
