she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
