I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
