I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
