you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
