i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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