your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We need a shit load of segways right now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize