Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
