Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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