Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
