i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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