Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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